Before I ordered my drink, I told her I liked her glasses, (which was really just code for “I think you’re cute.”)

Confidently, and perhaps with unintentional sass, she said,
“They’re Ray Ban’s”

Then it turned into a thing.

Another girl was mentioning her bizarre sleep/wake times, I posited that perhaps her clock was upside down. She demanded a photo of that – I tried to explain why this wasn’t usually a problem for me.

Lately though, the woman I talk to the most in life has been giving me attitude and cryptic responses. Sometimes I wonder if she really understands me.

Huh, maybe I’m not the only one that speaks in code… although I’m not sure I’d call anyone “giant”…

Augh! What is that? A baby metal alien?

Hmm, that little silver thing grew up into shadow aliens? This doesn’t seem right.
And your grainy cameraphone picture isn’t going to convince anyone.

Okay. That definitely isn’t right. Anti-Freeze? In a wine glass? No.

“Bilingual Hot Cup”?
Drr… That wasn’t quite what I had in mind. What goes in there anyway?

Enough with package labels! This is making me uncomfortable!

Oh, home-made labels are okay.

No really, forget that other stuff I said about them.

Please can I have a cookie?
(And by that, I mean, ALL OF THE COOKIES!)

Why Hello There.

Are you my Tall Soy Peppermint Hot Chocolate?

Venti? Very well then.

… Do you mind if I teach the difference between an apostrophe and a backtick? Also – that’s not my name.